This Christmas list, as per tradition, contains at least one hundred useful ideas for getting me a gift this Christmas. I realize that not everybody is set on getting me a gift, and that’s ok, but I just want to make sure that everybody has an opportunity to with no hindrances. I believe that gift giving is one of the joys of life, and that everybody should have an equal opportunity to grace others, such as myself, with gifts regardless of relation to, opinion of, or distance from me, as well as any various socioeconomic status you may enjoy.
IT SHOULD BE NOTED:
- NONE OF THESE ITEMS ARE MUTUALLY EXCLUSIVE, MIXING AND MATCHING MULTIPLE ITEMS FROM THE LIST IS A VIABLE OPTION- DO NOT FEEL OBLIGATED TO LIMIT YOURSELF TO JUST ONE ITEM.
- ALSO, THE LIST IS NOT ALL-INCLUSIVE; IT MERELY SUGGESTS OPTIONS FOR THOSE WHO OTHERWISE WOULD BE AT A LOSS AS TO WHAT TO GIVE ME FOR CHRISTMAS. CREATIVITY [I.E. ITEMS NOT ON THE LIST], UNLESS SPECIFICALLY PROHIBITED ON THE LIST, ARE MORE THAN WELCOME.
- Like me a lot
- Ridiculously rich
i. Pitching/batting cage
ii. New computer (no Macs)
iii. A vehicle (Mitsubishi)
iv. Professional artwork or photography
v. Apartment in the cities
- Are moderately rich
i. Mp3 player (no iPods) – preferably with video but not necessary
ii. HD radio (preferably with an alarm clock built in)
iii. New stereo system with CD player for my van
iv. Bethel
v. Computer games (strategy such as SimCity or civilization)
- Are university student rich
i. CD (something you think I’d like, I probably don’t have it [unless it happens to be tso])
ii. DVD (again, something you think I’d like, I won’t have it)
iii. Book (ditto on something you’d think I’d like)
iv. Food (I like all foods)
v. Over-ear Bose Headphones (not earbuds)
- Environmentalist budget
i. Artwork/photography of your own or your friend [friend’s artwork, not your friend themselves]
ii. Poetry or prose composed for me
iii. Homemade rice bowl or coffee mug
iv. A couple blank CDs
v. A five-subject notebook
- think I’m a person, but don’t feel like investing heavily in me
- You are in Forbes Fortune 500
i. Ice-breaker (the ship, not the social practice in awkwardness)
ii. Tires for my car
iii. Ice skates (I don’t exactly know how to skate, but it’s fun to try)
iv. Microsoft word
v. Television set or stereo set
- You don’t check the price of milk before you buy it
i. Twins ticket for a game in the 2010 season
ii. A mouse for my computer
iii. Cookware (pots, pans, utensils, glasses, plates, etc)
iv. A pair of jeans
v. Nice dress shirt
- You are on a pastor or teacher or missionary salary
i. Basketball, baseball, or football, or Frisbee, etc
ii. T-shirt
iii. Hacky sack
iv. Snacks/root beer
v. Board game (diplomacy preferred… although all welcomed)
- You are the financial equivalent of the son or daughter of a pastor, teacher, or missionary
i. McDonalds shake
ii. Matinee or dollar theatre movie ticket
iii. Thrift shop gift, such as a card game, wool socks, or an old DVD movie
iv. Pens or pencils
v. A glass of hot apple cider, hot chocolate, or eggnog
- you think I’m a jerk, or you hate and feel nothing but loathing for me
- you are rich and all that money can’t quite satisfy you
i. Buy me a Mac. I hate them
ii. Get me a non-Minnesota sports team shirt, jersey, or sweatshirt
iii. Give me my own business.
iv. Get me into grad school so I have an even huger debt
v. Buy me California
- you aspire to riches but can never quite get there
i. Timberwolves tickets (oh the pain of a Timberwolves game)
ii. Twelve lords a leaping, what am I supposed to do with them? Where would I put them?
iii. Along with that any of the twelve days of Christmas gifts which would be terribly inconvenient, awkward, or otherwise unwieldy.
iv. Get me a nice guitar without lessons
v. Buy me a plane ticket to California
- you have a hard time calling yourself middle class with a straight face, and you’re not in Forbes Fortune 500
i. Buy me house plants
ii. Buy me clashing clothes, odds are I won’t notice and will look dumb wearing them. (I’m stylistically inept)
iii. Buy me dental insurance for a while (I’d have to go to the dentist… shudder)
iv. ‘twilight’ related things. Oh the pain.
v. Buy me a book about California
- you are a social worker who happens to have it in for me
i. write me a letter describing in minute detail every flaw in me
ii. buy me a politician, I hear they’re cheap these days
iii. Buy somebody I know that you don’t a gift.
iv. Get me Earl Grey tea…
v. Draw me a picture of California
- You love me.
- Anybody normal who loves me can:
i. Write me a letter [cards and postcards acceptable as well]
ii. Sing me Christmas carols
iii. Make me a video message [or audio]
iv. Have dinner with me
v. Have hot chocolate with me [tea, coffee, eggnog, and hot apple cider are acceptable alternatives]
vi. Paint/draw/etc me a picture [I like cities, lights, fog, and snow] (please frame it I have no frames of my own)
vii. Teach me guitar, Japanese, Russian, or a martial art or something like that
viii. Take me ice skating, to a movie, to Chicago , Lithuania
ix. Make dinner with me, or better yet, chocolate steamed pudding…
x. Let’s go on a drive. Let’s just drive somewhere, look at Christmas lights, I don't know, just get in the car, turn on Christmas music, and leave wherever we were behind for a few hours, maybe even days.
- Any omnipotent or excruciatingly talented individuals who also love me may
i. Peace on earth
ii. Good will towards Man
iii. Snow and you can skip the mistletoe if you want
iv. No more lives torn apart, or wars started
v. Right would win (not necessarily political right, rather the social-moral right)
vi. My family being all together
vii. Endowing me with the capability of loving others as much as I feel loved. I still don’t know how everybody else is so good at it.
viii. Tinkerbelle
ix. I would like, just for once, maybe a few times, to be able to take a vacation for a week and come back to find no news stories in the newspapers, no news on my news feed, or wherever. It would be nice to get away and have the world just kind of kick back for a while. In fact, I think that everything but police stations, hospitals, fire stations, and gas stations should be closed from December 25 through January 1, no exceptions. Yeah. If that could be arranged, I’d be so grateful.
x. I would love, for a while, for people to see goodness and light. There’s good all over and it goes largely I feel, perhaps wrongly, unnoticed, or at best dismissed.
- Miscellaneous:
- items which could fit into various or no categories.
i. Kite
ii. Yoyo
iii. Snow pants
iv. Winter gloves that are both thin and warm OR mittens. I love mittens.
v. ‘skin’ for the outside of my computer
vi. An Advertisementanddjlessbutstillplaysgoodsongs radio station
vii. A wliia comeback
viii. The answers to life’s mysteries (ok, so I know, it’s 42)
ix. My own apartment downtown. (downtown anywhere)
x. Fingernail clippers. Maybe a bag of them, I keep losing them
xi. A sleigh ride
xii. A white Christmas
xiii. A walk in a winter wonderland
xiv. Lotion for my dry skin/dry lips
xv. A paid vacation
xvi. Cepelinai!!! (you would be my hero)… [preferably with kefyras for dinner with kepta duona and gira/kvass for either before or chilling out afterwards
xvii. Kind of along the same lines: kebabas. Like seriously. I crave them all the time.
xviii. Colored contacts
xix. Personalized license plate
xx. Something NOT on this list anywhere
xxi. Something personal from you, like a hug and word of kindness. Or perhaps a candy cane with a note of encouragement. How about a call and a meal. Some of these are specifically listed, but I’m trying to communicate the genre.
xxii. Something for Tim.
